Thursday, January 10, 2013

All Shook Up

All Shook Up
Note: This is about a really extreme situation,
and is not for the faint of heart.

My mind is all over the place,
My hands are shaking.
And, I don’t know why I’m sweating.
My clothes are soaking wet
And my pillow-case is stained with blood.
My blood sugar has gotten so dam low,
That I don’t know how I’m still alive.
This is how I woke up this morning,
I’m afraid I’ll never be stable again,
If only I could stay up long enough,
To take care of myself.

Suddenly, I am woken up,
I am surrounded by people in uniform.
They ask me all kinds of questions
And I wonder if this is real.
Or if I’m just dreaming,
As I contemplate this,
I am placed in the back
Of an ambulance
And they rush me to the local hospital.

I can’t remember where I went wrong,
I am just so confused now.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be the same.
If only I could escape from this place…

My parents look over at me from across the room,
They run tests on me,
And they don’t know why my blood sugar won’t rise.
They feed me 10,000 calories an hour…
After six hours of this, it finally comes up,
And they let me go, I am finally free…
Free at last…

I go home, try to get back on routine once again,
I eat a bit, then go back to bed…
And it starts all over again.

I thought I was in a dream once again,
It was dark outside.
I was being lifted into an ambulance again,
I thought it was the same scene,
Just repeating itself
(Over and over and over again.)
Back to the hospital I go.
I don’t know what’s happened to me,
But it seems like my blood sugar just keeps going low.
I’ve got juice flowing through my ivs…
And, I’ve got the worse head-ache right now,
How I wish everyone would leave me
The fuck alone.

They tell me I bit my tongue off,
And I urinated in my pants through the night.
I am so out of it,
That I really don’t give a shit.
I know I have to get back to work soon,
All I can think about is all my dreams down the toilet,
I think about the life I almost lost,
And how my resolve should be much stronger
Going forward, and how I should pay much more attention
To the details in life.

At about 6 P.M. they finally let me go,
They let me go for good.
Every time I try to tell this story,
I struggle to put the puzzle together.
But, I survived the worst test of all,
I haven’t been back there yet,
And I don’t plan on visiting anytime soon.

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