Sunday, April 7, 2013

Chips On My Shoulder

Chips On My Shoulder

I remember that summer
when I had that break-down,
and all I could remember was
why, how come, and what for?

I was taken to the hospital twice
in one weekend, and I had
become so weak I could no longer
make decisions for myself.

It still makes me angry to this day,
makes me want to get revenge,
against my family, the nurses,
and mostly the insurance companies.

I don't think I'll ever let this grudge go,
I was sitting there getting phone calls
from family members left and right,
and I really had no clue what had happened to me.
Sometimes, I know, that's the way life goes,
but you have to start drawing the line somewhere,
and I believed enough is enough.

These days, I'm a loner,
I walk, hike, jump and fight alone,
It has been one of my best years
in a while, and I'm not about
to let anyone take that away from me.

There was a time I was afraid
that I would die alone,
so I rushed into relationships,
and I paid the consequences
in the end...
It always seems
I can never find a man good
enough for me.

It still makes me angry
to think of the dis-respect
men had shown me in the past.
That's why I know
there will be no more,
I”m finished, I'm done,
I'll never find a successful relationship again.

I don't think I can ever let this feeling go,
whyd I have to get married after knowing you
for six days, only six days?
I wish someone would have slapped me,
and knocked some sense into my head then.
But, I know, that you have to learn from your mistakes,
and start making better choices,
or else I will simply fade with the wind.

Walking down the street,
I feel these chips on my shoulder
still affect me now, they influence
my every action today,
I can only be grateful
That I’m a much wiser, and better person now,
than I was with you.

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