Chips On My Shoulder

Chips On My Shoulder

11/02/2012

I remember that summer

when I had that break-down,

and all I could remember was

why, how come, and what for?

I was taken to the hospital twice

in one weekend, and I had

become so weak I could no longer

make decisions for myself.

It still makes me angry to this day,

makes me want to get revenge,

against my family, the nurses,

and mostly the insurance companies.

I don't think I'll ever let this grudge go,

I was sitting there getting phone calls

from family members left and right,

and I really had no clue what had happened to me.

Sometimes, I know, that's the way life goes,

but you have to start drawing the line somewhere,

and I believed enough is enough.

These days, I'm a loner,

I walk, hike, jump and fight alone,

It has been one of my best years

in a while, and I'm not about

to let anyone take that away from me.

There was a time I was afraid

that I would die alone,

so I rushed into relationships,

and I paid the consequences

in the end...

It always seems

I can never find a man good

enough for me.

It still makes me angry

to think of the dis-respect

men had shown me in the past.

That's why I know

there will be no more,

I”m finished, I'm done,

I'll never find a successful relationship again.

I don't think I can ever let this feeling go,

whyd I have to get married after knowing you

for six days, only six days?

I wish someone would have slapped me,

and knocked some sense into my head then.

But, I know, that you have to learn from your mistakes,

and start making better choices,

or else I will simply fade with the wind.

Walking down the street,

I feel these chips on my shoulder

still affect me now, they influence

my every action today,

I can only be grateful

That I’m a much wiser, and better person now,

than I was with you.

At Last

At Last

02/15/2013

Intro.

I’ve always felt you were my destiny

Sent to rescue me with your charm.

Now, I know you’re an angel,

A bruised angel, who needs

Real love in his life,

A safe place called home

Where he can heal his wounds.

We started out talking on the phone,

texting and instant messaging all through the night.

We also said we would meet each other

Eventually, but that was years ago.

You were down on life for a while,

And so I tried to remain strong for your sake.

Then, it was my turn to hit rock bottom,

And you were a great example for me to live by.

I guess that’s how we came to love each other.

Chorus:

But being 200 miles apart is hard I know,

Not what I expected God to bring,

But he made the right choice,

I know I'm in love with a real man,.

A real man.

Nowadays we're both working,

we don't talk as much as we used to,

But I always keep your best interests in mind,

And do things to make you laugh and smile.

And other times I do things to make you horny.

Cause I want you... to want me.

Other times, I feel you're just frustrated,

all of us men get that way sometimes,

so I give you your space, so

you can think things out,

and be your lovely little self again.

Repeat Chorus

One day, I know we will be in the same room together,

and we will make love forever,

Our hands clenched tightly together,

looking into each other’s eyes,

Deep emotional pools of light blue and green

Blending together like a painting.

We’ll both be crying together

because we're finally inside each other.

Then, in the morning time, both us still naked,

Cuddling between your sheets,,

I will smile at you,

Kiss you deeply on the lips,

and we will start a new chapter together.

Angel In Disguise

Angel in Disguise

10/18/2012

The little autistic angel hardly says a word,

dreams big thoughts of someday being a hero.

He is simple, honest and free

of any form of corruption or anguish

That his fellow brothers are in.

He believes the honest way of doing things

Is the only way to live your life.

Pre-Chorus

He walks through the streets of Ogden

easily irritated, but always trying to do the right thing,

He always goes the same route, always shops at the same store,

Always talks to the same people.

He only does what is completely and absolutely safe

in his mind’s eye.

Chorus:

He is an angel in disguise,

A blessing to all those who know him,

At work, he never thinks of himself,

He only does what he thinks would benefit his team.

And his team loves him so…

This little angel in disguise

Often gets hounded by men online,

But he just laughs,

And goes about his day,

In the most authentic way he knows how.

He knows he wants to find someone to love,

But doesn’t want to rush anything.

I know I’ve made many mistakes with men,

And I don’t want to be with another psycho,

If I can help it!!!

Pre-Chorus

Chorus

Before you try to judge me for what I did,

Or what I didn’t do, Take in mind,

That you haven’t walked these footsteps,

Haven’t had these choices to make,

Haven’t heard the lies they used to tell me,

And think I wouldn’t know.

You think I wouldn’t know?

When you whispered it while I was in the same room,

Yes, I’m quiet, but it won’t last forever,

Soon I shall get my revenge,

And I won’t be satisfied until your blood is on the floor.

You're The One For Me

You’re The One For Me

01/17/2012

Yes, it’s true I write a lot of love songs,

But they’re just dreams and ideas of what love should be.

You are true to me,

And our relationship is real,

So, this poem is about you, my new love.

When it’s late at night, and I start to feel lonely,

I know there is one soul, that will take a walk with me,

And help ease my bored mind,

And interest me with his sense of humor.

The journey we have gone on together has been so sweet,

Just holding your hand and looking into the stars.

We’ve both been hurt a lot by our past relationships,

So, we must be strong, and mend our hearts together.

Chorus:

Sometimes, I cry over how happy you have made me,

But, I know our relationship has happened for a reason,

And, after I give you a kiss good-night, I know for sure,

That you’re the one for me.

I don’t mind buying things for you,

Because you’re over-protective of me,

And don’t want me to get hurt in life.

Whenever, I turn around, I’m surprised to see,

That you’re still by my side indeed.

In the movie theater, you always rub my legs,

And hold me tight,

And it makes me feel so special to be around you.

You’re never perverted, you’re never embarrassing…

And that is why I love spending time with you.

Chorus

No matter where I am living,

I’ll still have these feelings for you.

You and I both know I am going away

To hopefully create a new life for me…

But, I’ll do as I promise,

I will bring you to me,

Once I get back on my feet again.

Chorus

Yes, I know for sure now… You’re the only one for me!

You're Such A Fool!

You’re Such A Fool

09-01-2011

You could have had me,

But you were too into yourself.

I have my own points of view, my own feelings,

My own dreams, my own plans.

I don’t know why you think I want to get married today,

But, I think it’s just a game you like to play.

Pre-Chorus:

Oh you claim I’m the one for you,

And that you can set me free,

But, after we’re done being friends,

You simply say the same words to another soul,

I’m just another victim to your lies.

Chorus:

Ohh you’re such a fool,

Didn’t see what you could have had with me.

If only you would have stopped pressuring me

To walk down that aisle with you.

Oh baby, don’t you see

We could have planned our future together,

We would have been rich together,

If only we could have taken it slow.

You’re such a fool.

We texted for a while,

And talked about our days,

And our similar goals together.

We were both call center agents,

But, on the side you were a dancer,

And I was the writer…

We could have made art together,

Oh baby…

Pre-Chorus

Chorus

Someday, I hope you grow up,

Stop looking for sex,

And start trying to find you’re one love…

I am optimistic that you’ll treat them with respect,

And not try to bring them down,

Or throw things at him,

Or make outlandish claims just to start a war!!!!

Ohh Christian, Christian, Christian… You’re such a fool!!!!

Pre-Chorus

Chorus