Chips On My Shoulder

Chips On My Shoulder

11/02/2012

I remember that summer

when I had that break-down,

and all I could remember was

why, how come, and what for?

I was taken to the hospital twice

in one weekend, and I had

become so weak I could no longer

make decisions for myself.

It still makes me angry to this day,

makes me want to get revenge,

against my family, the nurses,

and mostly the insurance companies.

I don't think I'll ever let this grudge go,

I was sitting there getting phone calls

from family members left and right,

and I really had no clue what had happened to me.

Sometimes, I know, that's the way life goes,

but you have to start drawing the line somewhere,

and I believed enough is enough.

These days, I'm a loner,

I walk, hike, jump and fight alone,

It has been one of my best years

in a while, and I'm not about

to let anyone take that away from me.

There was a time I was afraid

that I would die alone,

so I rushed into relationships,

and I paid the consequences

in the end...

It always seems

I can never find a man good

enough for me.

It still makes me angry

to think of the dis-respect

men had shown me in the past.

That's why I know

there will be no more,

I”m finished, I'm done,

I'll never find a successful relationship again.

I don't think I can ever let this feeling go,

whyd I have to get married after knowing you

for six days, only six days?

I wish someone would have slapped me,

and knocked some sense into my head then.

But, I know, that you have to learn from your mistakes,

and start making better choices,

or else I will simply fade with the wind.

Walking down the street,

I feel these chips on my shoulder

still affect me now, they influence

my every action today,

I can only be grateful

That I’m a much wiser, and better person now,

than I was with you.